I wanted to keep my testimony honest, truthful and detailed. I was raised in the Church by my mom and grandmother. We were always off and on Mormons. We would go for stretches and then stop. My father didn't join til I was 14, so it made it harder for my mom. I wasn't raised with the overwhelming sense that I must and should serve a mission. I met a friend in high school .... OK a girl, and she really got me very active in the Church my junior year in High school. I decided on my own to serve a mission. It wasn't an easy decision but yet my heart was always at ease and comforted in what I decided. My mission defines who I am today in so many ways. I gained the first part of my testimony of the Church on my mission. Kneeling down in someones home the first time you meet them to pray and ask if Joseph Smith was a prophet of God is powerful. One time without my companion knowing I actually was doing the prayer for myself too, with the investigator. Wow!! The spirit was amazing, I knew then my answer.
The mission was great and I gained a foundation of a testimony through it. I came home and married a nonmember and shocked a lot of people. I made some choices after that led me to feel guilty and ashamed, so I allowed myself to fall away from the church. After my kids were born and at an age where they could pray with me, we started nightly prayers together. I was away from the Church for over 12 years.
The second part of my Testimony came after I went back to Church in Southern California. I made a lot of stupid choices in those 12 years. Its funny because the first 21 years of my life I was squeaky clean and innocent, then after the mission....even having a testimony like I did, I mess up. Anyways, I got really sick about 6 months after going back to Church. The kind of sick where you wonder if you will live another day.
One Sunday I was so ill I couldn't attend Church with the kids, so my wife decided to take them. I was blown away but couldn't comprehend the magnitude of her willingness to go. Amanda came home that day and told me the Bishop talked about the importance of reading The Book of Mormon. I was like wow, she went to Church without me and she paid attention...I better open my book of Mormon.
I started reading in the most dark hours of my life, where I was so sick with anxiety, and the medications I was on didn't help either. The Book of Mormon got me through some very tough nights. My testimony grew of the absolute power that resides in the Book of Mormon. I also gained a bigger testimony that I wasn't alone and I had a friend in Christ who was there with me the whole way. I wouldn't have made it out of those times without Him.
In this season when we celebrate His birth, my heart is filled with gratitude towards Him. I would feel like Mr. Kruger in his presence where I just continue to thank him over and over for what He has done for me and my family.
I know this Church is the only true church by which men can truly come to know their Savior and Redeemer. I am truly blessed with that great honor of knowing.
I know Joseph Smith was a prophet, and brought forth The Book of Mormon in our day to be a beacon in dark times.
I know the Atonement is real and have a strong testimony and understanding of it.
I share these things and my Testimony in the name of Jesus Christ Amen.